Muhammad Hamdi Bin Che Hassan

 I was honestly stressed out being at home in Penang. So it decided to download this dating app called Hawaya. On 10/12/2020, we texted first on that app. Then you asked for my phone number, which I gave you. Then, we started first texting on WhatsApp on the same day itself around 4pm. Then things escalated really really quick when I came down to KL (13/12/2020) to take kontot then, I decided to text you and asked for a meet up with a simple "can we meet up one hour from now?" And then we first met in front of masjid Putrajaya. Then you drove us to masjid besi where we sat and had coconut ice creams plus longans. We talked a lot until it was almost maghrib and then you kind off "halau" me cause you knew that I still had to drive 2 hours to go back to Melaka and you didn't want me to arrive at Melaka that late. Then, we texted a hell lot and you said you wanted to be serious with me , which , TBH, I thought it was a joke. How can you decide that you wanted to be serious with a person whom you barely knew. Whom you had no idea of each other's past and background. So I was bluffing at the idea myself. Then fast forward, we had sexting. We started became more comfortable talking about the future and sometimes occasionally in a more sexual manner as well. On 8/1/2021, which was a Friday, you took half a day off from work and shoot to Melaka to spend the whole weekend with me. We had sex from Friday night up until Sunday morning. Where we were force to check out from our apartment. I gave you my virginity. And you were soo pleased to have it. It hurts like hell but honestly it was only satisfying on Sunday morning but for the rest of it, it was more pain than pleasure. You really really need to learn how to control your lust over me especially over my breasts. Your morning wood is truly amazingly filled with willpower that I can't do anything more than just lay down and willingly be your submissive partner. Surprisingly, on 11/1/2021, the government announced that there will be PKP, and then you and I are separated by physical up until now (8/3/2021). TBH , I did open up to you last week about my past, mostly about Mr prince and mamat keting tong but at first your sad that I wasn't honest to you but I told you, how could I ever find it within myself to open up to a stranger that I knew for less than 3 months??? Ofc I would be shy and etc. So I waited, waited for the right time to come clean and be honest. And I explicitly told him that if he wants to break up with me, then, by all means, like, I never searched for you and so I will never fight for you. But it turns out that he is fine with it eventually and that he said that he loves me very much and that he wants to marry me. Well, we'll see how.as of now, we're sexting and Video Calling daily and I am always thinking when will be the time that I can fuck him again. Haha. I know it sounded horny but yes, I am horny. Haha, tuddles. 

12/8/2017-weekend

so, yeah, since the gunung ledang trip is postponed to 24/9...i decided to go back to Penang. that weekend, angah decided to lepak with her friends and abandoned me at home, alone ...akma and his dad came to penang. they came by flight. they had lunch at home ..mom cooked : asam pedas ikan pari, ikan bawal masak sweet sour, kacang panjang goreng campur, sambal belacan belimbing buluh, telur goreng. so yeah, after that, they began the ever hot discussion regarding akma and along's problem. it went on until evening. i went down occasionally to ensure that no one is teary n etc. the discussion ended with a few promises by akma n along. i told abah that i wanted to eat kapitan because i was jealous that fatin posted that she ate kapitan, so yeah, that night we went to eat kapitan after maghrib. before we parted : akma n his dad and abah in one car, me n mum n along in another car, i asked for akma's cell number, because i wanted to talk to him n ask him about stuff. so, after that, i went home and fell asleep while trying to finish up my contract law assignment. the next morning, i was so caught up in finishing my assignment that i lose track of time n by 8:20 am , mum rushed into my room looking at me, not ready yet, she scolded me, n i move like the wind, trying to sumbat everything inside my lugage bag. after that, i went to change my bus ticket, but the counterwasn't open, i decided to just go to the platform n just ask the bus there. once the bus driver confirmed the bus, mom was there, i ran to the toilet for a while, gave mum a proper goodbye, and went in the bus. the bus stopped at butterworth, ipoh, an RnR, TBS, Seremban n lastly; Melaka Sentral...i rushed to pray asar = zohor before booking a Grab back to MMU. Alina (knowing that she didn't do the assignment, to the extend that she doesn't even read her groupmate's work) called me and asked me to explain it to her, while i was still in the bus. I called her after reaching my room, to which she didn't pick up. i decided to call akma for a while, i asked him, what did dad said to him netc, how is his opinion regarding abah, n etc...he is kind off hoping to re-bond along an abah, which is for me, a good thing. he told me that he doesn't really know abah, and due to distance, it is hard for him to bond with abah. i told him, that distance is nothing when your thoughts are there. i told him what abah feeels regading him n along as individuals n together, n what abah likes(maybe he can use it to bond with abah)...he told me that he is not the 'bodek' kind..i told him that look at it like this, you and your dad have known each other for 28 years, n then suddenly you will have another man to be considered as your dad, you will need to start fresh with him, and you must make the effort to know him, ask him regarding stuff that he likes n stuff, n etc...n then i realised that we spoke around 1 hour, i hung up the phone, prayed maghrib n then asked shomen regarding the progress of the assignment n stuff...n then, i decided to update my blog..so, that is it for this weekend. adios, amigos.

tiao lo

on monday, i was tired as hell to the extend that i even slept during MLS tutor (partly because i am tired and partly because the presenter is a shit presenter and their slides had too many words) . After that, i still wanted to go for water training. when i was on the way there, i met with Emily and i asked her who is suppose to come and bring paddles, she said liu zhe. so, she called liu zhe. liu zhe didn't pick up the phone call. so, i was there (at president square) waiting for wilson to come and send the paddles. waited n waited, he didn't come. i called him and he didn't pick up. after that, while waiting for the girls, i decided to call q. q said if worst come to worst , just use redtma's paddle and life vest. so, i arrived there, took the boat key , paddles and life vest from redtma, once i opened the boat already, i was hoping that abg amri would come and coach us. so, we waited and waited and waited...it was almost 5:10pm already that time. my phone battery was dying (17 %) i wanted to use my phone to call back the bus driver to go back to MMU later, so ,that is why i decided to off my data, and also, actually, i am puzzled and don't know what to do. so, i decided to coach la. mostly, i just hentam only, but they were not paddling properly because they were complaining about the wooden paddle. i told them that you must feel the hardship first in order to appreciate easy. i end up doing warm-up, hard 10 (3 sets), pyramid (10-15-20), Call Off Duty (5-10), 1-minute non stop (2 sets), 2-minute non stop (2 sets), [60X 2-second pause(long pull) n 20X easy hand n 40X 2-second pause (long pull)]X 2 set, 10-hard (4 sets) n 10-easy (4 sets). so, yeah, with no one to help me, i handled one small boat alone from warming up till calling the pakcik bus. i admit that a portion of it is my fault for not calling and consulting the whole batalion (first team) but i am desperate, and i tried to do the best that i can do.on the night itself, we had a meeting. i was tiao at the meeting because i didn't do that. the first thing i said was sorry. but at the same time i told them, that luckily i was there to supervise, imagine if i am not there, and this happened, what are the juniors going to do. The meeting actually was to discuss about the gunung ledang bonding trip that was scheduled on 12/8/2017.... so, yeah, that happened. then, the next day( Tuesday). i was supposed to settle 2 things which is check the Touch N Go for the bus and as En Zul for the first aid kit. after, i already settled both, then ,only did Liu Hang told me that he wanted to postponed the trip as only 2 of the committees can make it for the trip. so, i had to run all over the campus, to cancel the bus booking, and re-book the bus for 24/9/2017. so, yeah, i settled that, attended LM lecture and then i decided to order in (Domino's) and then went swimming at MBMB, after that, i got muscle tightness when swimming free style (twice) and then, the coach asked me to rest. after that, i slept early (12 midnight) and woke up at 5am (wednesday) for morning water training. q was the one who fetch me n two other girls. so, i paddle, even though my hand was hurting (right hand). after training, everyone wanted to eat breakfast at sungai putat, but i got class at 8am (Constitutional law 1) so, i asked q to send me back. in the car, q asked me why did ryan wanted to see me , at first, he was trying to scare me, and then i told him, that ryan just wanted to tegur how i park the boat. he then told me, that he understood my condition and that he might even do the same thing as what i did if he were in my shoes that day (monday).at first, he said that he wanted to just drop me at the bus stand in front of EP, i said fine. and then suddenly, he turned, i asked why, he said takot i kena culik, my response was, i realised that my face wasn't that pretty pon. his next response was that even a guy can be raped, what more a girl, he added more that different people have different taste, and said something about 'fetish'. so, yeah, i went to class and went to CIMB (to settle balkis's complaint regarding both account using the same CIMB clicks ID and password) n yeah, here i am writing. that's it so far...any updates will be here soon..au revoir

28/7/2017

it was a weird day, when i started the day off feeling so fatigue because i felt that my the tsunami phase of my period is coming. i woke up late,  just managed to change my clothes and went to class without bathing. It was Malaysian Legal System class , and i can't seem to find my notes...so i just sat there, opening my phone, browsing through Facebook's videos (using MMU's Wifi ofc) and then the time just passed by. An hour later, the class is dismissed, i actually wanted to go out with nabilah but i got caught up in a conversation with Emily that i tend to delay things with Nabilah(she is quite pissed off regarding it - and she has every right to be). Anyway, as i was talking to Emily, some of the issues that was raised is regarding how i am in a such dire need of an assistant as it is so hectic for me to be the secretary and having to juggle everything alongside trainings, social life, studies and etc. but i did tell her, that if i voice out my need the Mr President might not agree as when i voiced out my opinion regarding the recruitment of Fiona n Yong Wei n etc without prior notice, they tag me n bash me in the group. I am seriously clueless about how am i suppose to deal with him regarding this matter. things go on until Emily started to talk about how she wanted to form an all-girls team, which i am definitely excited n looking forward to..hehe. i also felt like they don't favour me that much, when i asked Emily, her response was, maybe because i am annoying because i ask to many questions (according to her) even though i felt like if i don't communicate with them, then, how will we ever get to know each other and how will we ever bond. Their mentality is totally different than mine. And i don't know how to cope or deal with that . in a sense, i felt like they are in the sky and i am in the depth of tartarus. I will never know when will we get to common grounds or even if that is possible. I can accept if people have different opinions as mine, but i will always try my best to comprehend them in their own way ( and i was hoping that people will do the same to me too), but it turns out that people are different, not just that they can't accept, they don't want to comprehend and they reject totally my opinion without even considering it for 1 second. it breaks my heart that in the first meeting, he emphasizes on teamwork n etc, but what he does is the other way around, and i ,honestly , can't comprehend that .then, the day goes on , with me and nabilah going to the Bank Rakyat to pick up our kad siswa, turns out, only her's is done, mine is due next week. After that , we went to KFC and bumped into dragonboat's sweetest couple (Emily & WeiJian), then, we went to Cimb Bank (for me to make an account - for the I-Smart V7 project. After that, we went back straight, i was watching "final Recipe" on Youtube, it is such a good movie - it made me teary. and then i fell asleep. i woke up around 8:30 ish, then, i bathe, went to wash my clothes, and then went to physical training . The funny thing was, i told abg adam (that i was having my period) and then he kept on emphasizing, that if i can't do it, don't push myself so hard. i thought it was kind of him to not pressure me that much. although in another thought, i felt pampered by him a bit. and the, after training, i watched "Stuck In Love" and it made me want to make a blog, and write. and here i am, writing what happened in my day at 4:28am. Hoping to find time to write about other stuff soon. Au revoir.